The send-off of uvo was quite the program. As scientific partiers, we experimented with a number of social phenomenon. Our study of human behavior yields the following peer-reviewed results:
1. "Do you want to make out?" is a highly successful pick-up line with a 95% return rate.
2. In this subculture, it was found that shagging babies is viewed as inappropriate, if not completely taboo. However, subjects were fascinated with cowbells. We therefore deduce that the cowbell is a highly regarded cultural icon.
3. As the length of a conversation increases, the likelihood of someone mentioning elephant cock gets closer to one. Therefore, long conversations are positively correlated with elephant cock.
4. Giggling is contagious and should be practiced with caution(a result of multiple studies throughout the night, thereby increasing stability validity of our study). However, in a controlled environment, consisting of at least one bottle of ouzo, the practice has yielded positive results.
5. Elephant cock is synonymous with "The Big EC" and "E.C. Cares." Ethnographic analysis of this group's regional dialect revealed that the terms are used interchangeably.
6. Given a party containing participants of both genders, the likelihood of making out in the middle of the floor is 4 to 30, a ratio that increases relative to the number of dark, carpet-covered spaces that are available. The spaces need not be divided by walls, nor do the subjects require privacy.
7. The introduction of a pinata into a crowd of people that have consumed four or more drinks is negatively correlated with guests' degree of politeness.
8. 20% of party attendees obtained a Butterfinger from said pinata.
9. One out of two brothers usually makes out at a party.
10. Given a choice of front or rear orifices, 99% of people would prefer to store hash in the frontal compartment. Caveat: Only if the frontal compartment is not in use. This finding cannot be generalized to the larger culture, half of which do not own vaginas and would not be considered experts in this area.
11. Bed stealing is an appropriate custom in this culture.
2 comments:
Nice one Sara, I love that episode... we should find a picture of that too... I missed the whole squirel head thing... What was that from? Sweet pictures, and where is the dong market? In case anyone runs out and needs more... : )
Oh my God, Sara...
Today I saw a 4th grader with a shirt that said "VOTE FOR PEDRO" I was cracking up... and there is another kid in that class that kind of looks like him with the wig... I will try to take a picture of him and pass it on... All my kids have seen that movie, they are cracking me up...
and today me and my problem child got in a discussion about Monty Python and the holy grail, he did the whole "bring out your dead" sceen from memory... wow
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