Things that Make My Day: Second Installment

Flowers or alien pods? (click to enlarge) Posted by Hello

As I was walking back to my car after class last Thursday, I noticed these odd looking flowers. Poppys? Who knows. The completely closed ones feel like furry cat paws, or something, and were awesome to touch. The one that is in the process of opening reminded me of the Little Shop of Horrors. If you get a chance to "pet" these flowers (in front of Fenton Hall) in the next week or so, I promise it will make your day.



Issue-based conservative music? Puke, puke, and double pee-yuke.

It's true, courtesy of the Right Brothers. Are they right? You decide. Go to their web site and enjoy such bull-shit songs as:
"The Illegals" - "You Can't Racial Profile" - "I Want my Country Back" - "Dear Mr. Regan" - "Trickle Down" - "It's My Money"and the pro-life "I Want to Live," with lyrics that follow:

You found out about me and you're feeling scared
You're thinking I'm a big mistake
The Man upstairs says be prepared
He says I might not see the light of day
Well, I didin't ask to be here
But now that I am
Momma I wanna live
Momma I wanna breathe
Just give me the chance to be all I can be...
And I want you to know
That I can feel your heart beat

I love that these idiots write about a clump of cells having the ability to think, reason, or talk, let alone the sensory abilility necessary for "feeling a heartbeat." The "Right" Brothers obviously have not studied child development in the least, but hey, murder is murder right? "Right?" Wrong!! Again, idiots, and again, puke.

Oh, but there is something funny. These guys have a song called "Freedom isn't Free." Besides being oh-so-catchy, it bears the same title as a satyrical song made up to poke fun at conservative " boot in their ass" songs in the movie Team America World Police. So, in an attempt to further their god-bless-america-kick-ass-rule-the-world ideology, they ended up mocking themselves in the process.

Freedom isn't free (Team America World Police): "Freedom isn't free/It costs folks like you and me and if we/don't all chip in, we'll never pay that bill/Freedom isn't free/No, there's ahefty f@#king fee/And if you don't throw in your buck o' five, who will?"


There are All Kinds of Yahoos Online

Thankhooo, Yahoo. I think? Posted by Hello

So for those of you that hadn't noticed, I joined a bunch of blog directories and installed "Site Meter" on my blog over the weekend. Because of site meter, I can tell what search operators people use that result in them going to my blog. A few of them are quite funny:

Yahoo Searches: “Guinness car bombs shirts,” "chest signing," “Alice’s restaurant,” “blog Sara h,” and “why hire a student teacher.”

The first search makes sense--it relates to my St. Patrick's day post. As for "chest signing," what the hell?! I didn't know I supported, condoned, or even dicussed that. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for eclectic brands of fun, but it's worrisome that I don't even remember such a thing. Is it time to stop drinking? FYI, I searched my blog for "chest signing" and found no results. Next on the list: "Alice's Restaraunt." This referrs to my post about our fabulous trip to the Wilson River House last September. I'm not quite sure who would want to find out info about "sara h," and I hope that it is someone that loves me and doesn't want to cut me into pieces. Finally, I sure hope that whoever searched for "why hire a student teacher" did not look here to find answers...although I am the first to admit that I rock, this blog might convince a school administrator otherwise...

Google Searches: “Richard hedders.”

This one is easy: It referrs to this post and also this one (which describes the first) from back in March. During a Richard Hedders show, Patrick and I had good fun at the bar drawing venn diagrams and flo charts.

Earthlink Search: “kellyclare birthday.”

I think we know who this one is about.

Well, that concludes this summary of "who's reading Sara's blog and why." It also goes to show that you can never quite guess the story of all the yahoos floating around in cyberspace. Can you hear me, Major Tom?

Play the Gizmo Game

What is this gizmo? Posted by Hello

Is it:
A. A device used to help lay the Transatlantic Cable
B. A "Mine Roller"
C. Landing gear from the 1949 Soviet Su-6b Bomber
D. A prop from the movie "Gladiator"

The Gizmo Game is courtesy of RoadTrip America. Thank you Dave Barry for the link. Let me know your favorite gizmo number so I can guess.


A Late Night in Corvallis

The Ladies Posted by Hello

A Girls Picture @ Jeremy & Erin's Birthday Party

Top Ten Memorable occurrences at Jeremy & Erin's Birthday Party:
10. E.M.I: Johy's daughter was there for a few minutes before her grandma took her away for babysitting. That little girl is absolutely adorable while simultaneously turning into Hell on Wheels. Johy described her as a tornado: You never know what she's going to pick up and you never know where she's going to put it down.
9. Beer before liquor or liquor before beer? A very strange liquor/beer/lemonade concoction was the prerequisite drink upon entry to the party. Just about everyone got extremely drunk, and before we knew it, it was 4am.
8. Uvo Cuddles with Phaedra: Except after crawling into Phaedra's sleeping bag nest, Uvo proceeded to rub an ass that she thought was her own, but actually belonged to Phaedra.
7. Liz & Ron posing for a nudie picture: Yes, it happened. Incestuous? Perhaps. And don't ask, I will not be posting it!
6. The Yap sisters at 8am: Erin's friends woke up at 8 am and made high-pitched girlish chatter, hence waking up the rest of the party, which had only gone to sleep at 4 am.
5. The missing links: Four people were missing from the party in the morning and were found sleeping in cars.
4. BBQ: Jeremy made the best barbecued drumsticks. I watched his dog run off with one of the bones, then return seconds later sans bones. The bone was later spotted in the mouth of the other dog at the party and was promptly confiscated.
3. Johy's Haircut: Looking good, girl! She's an official MILF now, you realize.
2. Breakfast: Rachel accidentally threw her knife in the air about three times during the meal, saying, "I am a danger to myself and the people around me." Our party of fifteen people was seated and served super quickly. And we were done with breakfast and out the door by noon!

And the number one memorable occurrence:
1. Program Central: Ryan, wearing no shirt and one glove. He also tried to talk me into doing cartwheels in the yard several times, but that never happened.


The Many Phaces of Phaedra

6X4=Phaedra (click to enlarge) Posted by Hello

I dedicate this blog to Phaedra, whose 24th birthday is today. Yay, Tater!

Email her to tell her happy birthday: margaritamuck@hotmail.com.

Things That Make My Day: First Installment

ARRRrrr! Posted by Hello

Since a lot of you blogger friends of mine seem to have consistent blog featurettes, like Chris's posting of lyrics and Paul's ever-so-tasteful "Whack-off Wednesdays," I decided to follow suit. Periodically, I will post the things I see that make my day.

On this particular day (Last Friday) it was this piece of artwork painted by one of my first-grade students.

Miss Hos: What a wonderful picture! Can you tell me about it?"

Young Artist: It's a pirate.

Miss Hos: Oh, you mean a Jolly Roger, like on a pirate's flag?

Young Artist: No, it's a pirate.

Miss Hos: A pirate it is! I love it!


Kellyclare FINALLY hits the big 21

21 at last! Posted by Hello

I think Kellyclare is the last of my friends to turn twenty-one. We celebrated on midnight of her birthday because I couldn't go out with her on Friday. Stacy, KC, Autum, and I started off by playing some cribbage and getting dinner, then we headed off to the bars for the stroke of midnight. Except the Horse Head wouldn't let her in at the stroke of midnight, so it was off to Max's for the stroke of 12:15. Max's let her in, welcomed her with open happy birthday arms, and even bought her two beers. Such a good bar!!! She had a good time, and still got to have fun the next night, as she told me later. The highlights of her acutal birthday include loosing her ID and getting a bunch of phone numbers, none for which she can remember the person that gave them. Now that's a good twenty-oner.

P.S. Kellclare has joined us bloggers and is updating her blog a lot these days, so check it out!

A Week of Birthday

Quarter of a Century Posted by Hello

My birthday has stretched out over a fully week, which is fun considering that birthdays always pass by so quickly. Last Friday was the Disco Inferno party, of course. On Wednesday, my actual birthday, all of us went to the River Ranch for dinner then out to the bars for a few drinks. Their birthday dinner deal is no joke- You get your dinner and desert completely free! I bought one drink, so my total bill was $6.44 (with a $0.94 gratuity, ha ha). In our bar hopping we searched long and hard for karaoke but to no avail. We even went to crappy Jogger's and still no karaoke. There is something wrong in this world when you can't find karaoke on any night of the week. That's what I think anyway.

The final celebration occured last night when my parents took me out to dinner. We went to the Fisherman's Market on 7th and Monroe, a restaraunt the likes of which my parents never get to see because the live in Corvallis. The Fisherman's Market is also a kick ass deal- The four of us each bought a beer and dinner and we had two apetizers (lobster on polenta and steamer clams) and the bill was only $40.00. That's so amazing for seafood!!! Plus, as Patrick and Robin will tell you, they have awesome sushi-grade ahi tuna.


Birthdays in Salem Land

Mason's Birthday (click to enlarge) Posted by Hello

Mason's new vaccum (top left) Ally & Mason (top right) John & Mason opening gifts (bottom left) Mason & Auntie Sara (bottom right)

This was the scene just after disco inferno party. I went from crazy party land to real-life-with-kid land. I'm not sure which I prefer! Ally and Mason have the same birthday, which means that two years ago on April 9th, Ally spent her birthday in a hospital squeezing a baby into the world. What a day (but what a birthday gift!). Mason is a total cutie pie, and his mom and dad are an awesome team. We ate Mexican food, made cupcakes, and watched kiddie tv on Saturday, then had the birthday party at John's parents' house on Sunday. He barbecued the best chicken ever, and Mason got enough toys to apease a child army. Happy birthday!


Disco Inferno

Burn, baby, burn! (click to enlarge)Posted by Hello

For more pictures, click here.

Happy Birthday to Liz & me! Sammy hosted our Disco Inferno birthday party. Also attending was Ally (left), my friend that lves/works/mothers in Salem and never gets many opportunities to see my world. I made her come to Eugene and party with me for my birthday, and actually, hers too because her birthday is th 9th. Our feet are killing us this morning, but other than that, we had a fan-fucking-tastic time.

The party also accomplished something that, to my knowldege, has never before happened at Sammy's house...We had the police called on us. Hmm, maybe it was the fact that ten people in the back yard were holding an off-key sing along. Maybe it was the keg. Maybe it was the disco dance stomping. Maybe it was that there were a million people there, all dressed like the walking 70's, and all of which were drunk and noisy. Needless to say, it was a complete success and we have pulled off yet another kick-ass theme party. I love us!