Meet Araggog, a spider friend who has occupied the window outside my office since I moved to this house. For several weeks now, I thought he was dead because I haven't seen him move from the corner of the window. But today he crept out to catch and wrap up some lunch. He's probably some kind of nasty, poisonous spider that will bite me in my sleep, causing me to loose useful appendages, but he's a great form of entertainment when I'm sitting in front of the computer. Well, spacing out in front of the computer. I'll introduce you to him next time you visit.
ODE Guest Commentary
April 11, 2002
In the last week, a cell-phone has rung in almost every class I have attended. Rather than chastising students for this intrusion, most of my professors simply cringe their way through the ringing, grateful when they can go on with their instruction. As this technology continues to develop and cheapen, hard-working, tuition-paying students will continue to be disrupted and disrespected by the inconsiderate few who must, for some reason, be reached via cell phone while in class.
I, for one, would never be caught dead carrying a cell because I’m one of a dying class of people who doesn’t want to be reached at all times. But no one needs to be reached in the middle of class, nor should any serious student want to be. But despite the lack of necessity for such a device, most people will argue that hey “need” their phone with them at all times for reasons that vary in legitimacy. Needing to be reached by children is an acceptable justification, whereas needing to be in constant communication with the girlfriend on whom you recently cheated doesn’t really hold weight.
Since there are no laws against cell phone usage, I can not judge the validity of your reasoning. Therefore, I propose the following rules of cellular phone etiquette on campus:
1) Turn your cell phone off when you enter a class room. At the very least, put it on the vibrate setting. Class is completely disrupted when your phone rings to the tune of “Big Pimpin’” six times before you find it buried in the bottom of your back-pack.
2) Do not use your phone in an area where everyone is silent . . . except for you, who decided to have loud a conversation with your grandmother (You know who you are, Grandma’s boy).
3) Do not make your private conversations public. Cell phone users often force others to eaves-drop on your weird conversations.
Furthermore, shifting focus to professors, I would encourage instituting a zero-tolerance policy on cell phone usage in your class, warning that the owners of ringing cell phones will be asked to leave your class for the day. Or perhaps you could start every lecture with a movie-theatre style message asking students to turn off all electronic devices. Ridiculous times call for ridiculous measures.
With a technology as new as this one, it is hard to know where appropriateness lies, so I will forgive you cell-phone junkies for your lack of respect for me, my peers, and our teachers. However, if we are to keep the lines of normal, face-to-face communication open and genuine, we can’t continue to ignore the intrusion of these devices into our daily lives. I urge the University to enforce guidelines similar to mine in order to preserve its quality of education. For the time being, cell users, please perpetuate good will and academic success by using your cell phone politely.
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Liz's Office party. It was Phaedra who spiked the punch with too much Earl. I can't help it if I drank 4 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like funk.
I thought it was funny when I put Patrick's thong on my head and danced the Chicken Dance on the foot stool while singing `Love Shack'. I didn't mean to break Liz's Laptop and don't know why Liz would accuse me of purgery.
I don't remember calling John's wife a vocal rooster---even though she looked like one with beige eye shadow and magenta lipstick!
And when I threw up on Ally's husband's ass cheek, it was only because I ate too much of that enchillada.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my school bus through my neighbor's closet. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a swirly kitty cat and have me arrested for grand theft auto!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all excentric and absurd. And I'm really not to blame for any of this mezmerizing stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and uniquely yours,
Sara (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 13 bucks!
If you want to do the mad-lib yourself with different words, click here.
Well, here I am once again, proving to the community that I am an upstanding member of society, fullly competent to take care of its children. At least I'm only a weekend drunk. And a once-a-month weekend drunk at that. Except December. Oh, and maybe January. Not to mention all three summer months. Okay, so I'm a not-every-weekend drunk.
Phaedra's end of term party was fun. The PBR flowed, and so did the uninhibited stupid comments. I usually get up at 6am every day, so it's pretty funny that we stayed up until 5 in the morning. I have no clue what we were doing for that long. Something to the effect of what is pictured in this post.
Ah well, time to stop being a drunk and get back to school, my full time job. I hope to see many lovely people at the Eugene party this weekend.
Love and drunken comments.
- I work 12 hours per day. Not exaggerating.
- Working 12 hours per day has no ill effect on my social life because I don't have one.
- My mother visiting for three days over Thanksgiving is the highlight of my recent social agenda.
- Yesterday, I watched re-runs of Ellen on T.V.
- I talk to my cats. A lot.
- The most wildlife I've seen in a while is a nutrea crawling out of the wetland behind my classroom.
- In conversations, I have nothing to talk about except my job.
- My latest culinary creations have all been white pasta-ish things or ramen.
- I spend a solid half-day cleaning my house from top to bottom every weekend.
- I hang out with Ally once or twice per week to do my laundry and complain, or wrestle around with her 2-year-old (which is actually pretty fun).
2. I survived my first Halloween of living in the neighborhood where my students also reside...By hiding out at Ally's house. Literally. I took a six-inch stack of papers to her house and graded them all night, comforted by the facts that my cats were inside, my front porch light was off, and my students still don't know where I live.
3. There might have been a tornado the other night. Well, maybe not a tornado, but this old house I live in made that nasty windstorm sound like the cyclone in the Wizard of Oz. There were creepy creaks and whistly howling noises all night. Luckily, I'm not someone who spooks very easily, because if I was, this living alone thing would have been pretty scary in the middle of my Salem tornado.
4. I'm going to start using my digital tape recorder today for something other than recording my friends and me singing drunken karaoke. I'm going to create a self-guided oral reading assessment tape for the kiddos. They'll take the tape recorder into the hall, press record, introduce themselves, then start reading a short, grade level passage of text. This way, I don't have to give the other kids busy work so that I can give the assessment, and I can go home and wear pajamas while I listen to and score the recordings.
I hope to see some of you in Corvallis on Saturday!
Next, watch the vocal stylings of Grandma Green, singing "Take Me to the River." Notice the entourage of elderly back up dancers.
Next, marvel at this vision of the future of Sami and Tim.
Check out these legs (and stockings).
Last, but not least, Grandpa Arnold gets down in his karaoke debut.
I am still recovering...good party!
Oh, and thanks Evan J. for the picture!
This was taken at last weekend's cabin adventure in Yachats. Ten minutes before it was taken, Evan showed up and a shot of tequilla was instantly administered to him. Ten minutes after it was taken, Rachel was passed out for the night and Liz was "Trying really hard to be cool."
See y'all at my party on Saturday night! It will be grandma-rific!
Veiw from the hall:
1. Nikon has fixed and shipped my broken digital camera! Life is good, and soon you will see pictures to prove it! Yay for them fixing what was probably a problem that I caused :-)
2. Flow Mama ran away for like, two days, and someone finally called me when they found her. She had crossed two majorly busy streets (one with four lanes!) and was hanging out and making friends at a car wash. I google mapped it, and it was exactly a half mile from my house. Let's hope Mama's big adventure does not repeat it self!
3. I might get a raise...focus on the 'might' part. My union rep might have found a loophole that would raise me one step on the pay scale (about 1,000 per year).
4. The bill collectors are hot on my trail, including my own mother :-) She's not as bad as the others though. They have to understand, I'll pay them when I get the money. All the calling in the world, especially at 8am on a Saturday morning, will not put money in my pocket, so they'll have to wait until the end of the month, just like I have to. Give a gal a break!
5. I'm off to Eugene next weekend...I'll be crashing with Pattie-Poo and Robin-Poo for the Eugene Celebration...yay! I can't wait to watch the parade again, and see the Eleven Eyes, and the Daddies, and all that fun stuff. Time to find my flask...
That's all for now! Much love to you all from Salem.
The next morning as she came in the classroom door, she told me a very off-topic comment about how her aunt (guardian) had never graduated from high school or college. I smiled and nodded and thought she was just telling me some random story until later, when I looked at the signature on the letter she had brought back. Not only did it only have her aunt's first name, it was written in very awkward, unpracticed cursive, and the first letter in her aunt's name were crossed out and re-written.
Obviously the child had written it herself, and she'd even gone as far as to plant a story about her aunt's never graduating, so that I might believe that that 4th-grade scrawl belonged to an adult. Needless to say, I made a call home and informed Auntie of what happened.
Moral of the story - If you are a 10 year old attempting to forge your parent or guardian's signature, remember this:
1. Adults write their first AND last names in their signatures. That's what a signature is...your WHOLE name.
2. Adults have written their signature so many times in their lives that they don't mess it up anymore, so we will know something is funny if a signature is partially erased or scratched out.
3. Before writing on the actual paper that needs a signature, it's better to practice on scratch paper until you get the signature completely right.
4. When you're not in very much trouble, it's best not to make the problem worse by being dishonest. Adults hate it when kids are sneaky, so you'll get in TONS of trouble for the sneakiness part, not the original thing you did.
Yesterday I was hot-gluing tiny pieces of velcro onto a chart that my students will use to check in as they arrive to school. Just as I put glue on a piece and picked it up, ready to stick it to the chart, I had to sneeze. So I put it down and quicky moved my and to my mouth to cover the sneeze. The little velcro piece (covered in hot glue) had attached itself to my thumb by the little strings of glue that glue gun makes when you release the trigger. The hot glue landed on my upper lip and firmly attached itself. So yes, I burnt my lip with hot glue.
I now have a nasty looking burn on my lip. And I meet parents today. Here are some reasons I could tell to explain it:
- Cold Sore
- The real story
- Or I could just not say anything and let people make up their own stories
Gross. Oh well, it doesn't hurt as bad today, and I might be able to cover it with makeup.
1. It is a new building, so everthing is beautiful and high tech. I have four computers (plus one teacher computer) in my room, and my I.D. badge opens the doors.
2. The staff is AWESOME and they are all very helpful, not to mention upbeat and kind. My principal is fantastic...very funny and easy going. You can tell she has not lost sight of the purpose of her job.
3. Budget...I got a $400 budget for my classroom supplies, which is virtually unheard of these days. My classroom is looking awesome! I'll post pictures when I get my camera up and running again. I'm also getting paid pretty darn well compared to other districts in the state.
4. Curriculum: The math program is investigations, which rocks. The reading program is the one I used when student teaching, so I am familiar with it.
5. MY HOUSE! I found a kick ass three bedroom house five minutes from school that is a STEAL! I have so much space it's ridiculous. I have a bedroom, guestroom, office, huge living room, garage, and huge front and back yards.
Well, that's all you get for now. I'm in a hurry and must run (without spell checking...sorry!). I'll see a lot of you at the River House this weekend. If you have any questions or need to deviate at all from the plan, please keep me informed. Thanks!
I got the job in Salem and I start on August 29th. The first day is a 1/2 day new teacher inservice, and the second day is a staff meeting that is also 1/2 day. I'll have those two afternoons (plus any time I spend at night or next week), then my students will come to meet me on Thursday at 1:00. Yikes! So exciting!
I quit my job early, so my last day is Tuesday. On Wednesday morning I'm heading up to Salem to stay at my friend Ally's house and accomplish the following missions: (1) Bring all of my teacher stuff to my classroom, (2) Find a house to live in, and (3) Figure out what the heck I'm going to do with a class of nine and ten year old students! By that I mean plan the first two weeks or so.
This is so exciting, but mostly overwhelming. If anyone is interested in assisting me with classroom set-up, I need it when you can give it! I'll be working in my classroom next Wednesday-Friday, then the afternoons of the 29th & 30th. Call me!! My cell will stay the same.
I'm also looking for people to help me move next weekend, on Saturday (August 27th I think).
P.S. I haven't had time to write to everyone, but don't forget that RIVER HOUSE WEEKEND is coming up!!!!! It's labor day weekend (friday night through monday morning).
So....Here's what's happening with my job search (also known as NOTHING):
- Springfield, 5th Grade: Not offered the position
- Village School, 5th/5th Grade Loop: Not offered the position
- Newberg, 4th Grade: Not offered the position
- Hillsboro, 6th Grade: Declined consideration because I didn't like the school
- Coos Bay, 4th Grade: Not offered the position
- Wilsonville, 2nd Grade: Didn't call back (and therefore not offered the position)
- Salem, 4th Grade ESOL: Decision pending
- Scio, 4th/5th/6th Grade Blend: Interview on Monday
- Springfield, 4th Grade: Hoping for an interview
- Creswell, 5th Grade: Hoping for an interview
- Corvallis, 3rd Grade: Hoping for an interview
- Albany, 4th Grade: Hoping for an interview
- Eugene: Not holding my breath
And that's the story. Yay.
Go to this website and type your name into the "googlism" box. Copy and paste your top seven into a comment on this posting. My top seven are:
1. Sara is a poophead and she fucked up her template
2. Sara is practicing for her career as a singer
3. Sara is the heart warming short novel of a girl who discovers the secrets of creating a happy life from a giant owl named Solomon
4. Sara is currently under development (ain't that the truth)
5. Sara is menacingly simple
6. Sara is shaven beach public nudity sex (waahh?)
and my favorite:
7. Sara is an outrageously inept comedy that mostly ends up embarrassing the audience (by taking off her top)
Even though I only worked for four days this week, it seems like nine days and three hours.
I'm relaxing at home right now, watching a Simpsons I've never seen before where Marge accidentally gets a boob job and becomes a trade show spokes model. Those zany Simpsons! In a few hours, Liz will be here and we're going shopping for our Crater Lake groceries. The plan is to leave at 8:00 am. Yeah right. If we leave by 10:00 I'll be super impressed. Meeting us later: Patrick, Robin, Scott. Also in attendance: Programskie. Remind me why he was invited?
Breaking news: I have a job interview near Portland for a 6th grade position. My friend Edie came to see me the other night, and that was fun. And my friend Liz is leaving for four months to go to ITALY, which rocks, although I'll miss her. I also got a new pair of chacos (see picture). They're not exactly the ones I wanted, but they have the better soles than my last pair. I also fell down for no apparent reason this morning while wearing said shoes, and have now added a nasty bruise to my already screwed up right knee. I'm crossing my fingers that it won't prevent me from making the trek down to the lake this weekend.
Oh, and my diploma came in the mail, but it's at my parents. Still, it exists and I am therefore a valuable person. Ah hem.
Have a great weekend everyone!
This is my friend Stacy and I watching the Em's on Tuesday night. What's really weird is that my camera phone reversed the image when it took the picture...we were sitting slightly to the right of home plate (near 1st), but the image makes it look otherwise. Strange.
I love buying hot dogs for $0.50. It is a wonderful thing. I ate three.
Oh, and the Em's lost, 3-4.
D.O.W.W = Dirty Old Women's Weekend, the second annual women-only trip of nudity, drunkenness, and debauchery. Vaginas are required for attendance, but propriety must be checked at the door, and don't be surprised if we ask you to hang one tit out of your purple tank top. We are the women of the dirty old sorority Delta Omega Dub-ya Dub-ya, and we know how to build a fire, and we know how to take care of anyone that throws beer cans at us. Our mascot is Pono, the talkative park ranger, and our official beverage is Earl served with a side of pepsi.
Can you believe this is an elementary school? It's awesome! My interview went well, the best so far. If I get the job, I'll be totally stoked because it's an awesome new building in a very with-it school district, and I'll be teaching the grade I want to teach. Cross your fingers...I'll know at the end of othe week.
9:50 Leave the House. (Unless it is Tuesday or Thursday, which means I first work at the lab at 8:00, or if it is Monday, which means I have a staff meeting at 9:00 and leave at 8:30, which also means no carpooling with program coworker)
10:00 Pick up Programskie. Sit in front of Programskie's hippie co-op for five minutes waiting for him to notice I'm there. Watch Programskie realize he's forgotten something and run back into the hippie co-op only to return with an almost left-behind lunch item that smells like cumin and barf
10:10 Turn up radio to give hint to Programskie that I don't want to hear him free-style rapping all the way to work. Subsequently watch him transition into music and start annoyingly bobbing his head to the rhythm.
10:15 Get involved in a conversation with Programskie about some political or societal problem, to which he will provide partial information and partial idealism/fluffy obnoxiousness.
10:19 Turn up radio and sing along, loudly
10:30 Arrive to the community center where our gear is stored. Unlock gate, pull out activity bus, lock gate, find Programskie so we can leave
10:45 Arrive to park of the day and quickly set up activities for the droves of children that have arrived too early. Tell Programskie to do things. Watch him look confused. Watch Functionalskie (my other co-worker) see what needs to be done and actually do it, without being asked. Also sigh as Programskie leaves his personal items all over the table.
11:00 Watch Programskie play with kids, and watch the kids totally respond to him, and realize that he is, after all, good for something.
4:50 Start packing up the activity bus.
5:00 Programskie notices that it's time to go and looks slightly dazed. Picks up things to put in the bus. Stands holding said items and spacing out. Slight twitch of face, followed by awareness, and finally he starts walking to the bus.
5:10 Start the bus and halt quickly as Programskie realizes he left his shoes. Drive back to the community center.
5:25 Open gate. Park bus. Close gate. Ask Programskie to drop off paperwork upstairs (and find out on Monday that he put it in very strange places throughout the upper floor of the building, and exactly NOT where it should have gone).
5:30 Get in Sara's car. Repeat morning car ride events.
5:45 Drop off Programskie at the hippie co-op.
5:46 Scream into wadded up city-issue sweatshirt and go home.
Event 1: Packing & Moving. What a bitch it is to pack your apartment, by yourself, with little space to stack things once you have actually packed them into a box. I also had to decide what things needed to come with me to Sammy's and what things I needed to have access to in my storage unit. Luckily, I had a coalition of the willing to help me move. We came, saw, and conquered my belongings, and in a matter of two hours, we had packed everything into the uhaul and unpacked it into my storage unit. Immediately following the move, we went to GJ's for breakfast, then Sammy, Liz C., & I joined Ron and Family at their cabin on a lake in Florence for the night. Unfortunately, the camp-out at the cabin was followed by two four-hour apartment scrubbing sessions. Gross.
Event 2: Moving into Sammy's House. I now live on a sleeping pad in the spare room at my friend Sammy's. Sound lame? Oh, think again. Ten feet from my sleeping area is a hot tub, ready for my use at any time. In the living room there is CABLE, an amenity I have not had in my residence for more than five years. The best feature is Sammy because she kicks ass and is the most awesome ever for letting me squat at her house until I get a job. Unfortunately, Sammy uses her phone line for internet and for phone calls, so I can't crack-out on the internet like I do in my real life, and I don't have much time to blog. I'm also super busy because of my new job (read on).
Event 3: Starting my New Job. The very next day after cleaning was the day I started a full week of training for my summer job as a site director for a city park program. The following Monday rolled around, and we started taking recreation activities to the three parks that are my charge. This is a royal pain in the ass (the traveling around thing) because travel time adds another ninety minutes to my day, plus I have to carpool with my PROGRAM co-worker who is a crazy space cadet. I will post about our daily interactions soon.
Event 4: Brice Creek. We spent the entire 4th of July weekend camping at Brice Creek, which was frekin' awesome because all of my friends are hot and I want to fuck us. And we're so humble too, ha ha. We made awesome food, inhaled too much campfire smoke, jumped off of rocks into frigid water, and patrolled the two dogs that joined us. There was much singing and general merry-making. I can't wait to go camping again... July 22nd is the next free-for-all trip (not to be confused with the second annual dirty old women's weekend on July 15). Be there, bitches!
(click to enlarge)
Amy F. once told me that I reminded her of Monica on 'Friends,' the time when she starts freaking out about having a baby in her apartment..."What if the baby gets into the ribbon rawer?!! What if the baby has so much stuff that we can't have a ribbon drawer!!!!????"
What can I say? I don't have a ribbon drawer, but I LOVE school supplies, I love rubber-maid boxes and storage bins, and I love organizing. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE my label maker (Monica says, "You call three hours with my label maker work? Ha!"). But last night, I put it to good use at Liz's graduation party by making it a party favor.
And now it's time for a breakdown (From top left to bottom right):
- Canadian. Phaedra was singing a Bryan Adams song on karaoke...You know it's true...
- 99 bottles of beer on the wall - 10 down, 89 to go. This was Steve's running tally. He got to fifteen before I drove us home and he crashed on my couch.
- Sexy Thing. Guess what song Lisa was singing?
- New Paragraph, Indent. If you know the tale of dirty old women's weekend, you get this.
- Scooter's Girlfriend. Celeste.
- Wanna make out? Worn by all the girls at the party. Remeber, according to my recent study of social behavior, the use of said phrase has a 95% return rate.
- Scooter. Note- by some straws coincidence, the two scooter references are not related, and Rachel is not, in fact, Celeste's boyfriend.
- Yes, my rib is broken and no, I do not have TB. Ah, the perceptions that arise over a person who holds her rib in place and puts her head down by her feet while coughing violently.
- Twinkle toes. A name most recently credited to her pointed ballet toes while singing karaoke on Friday night. She also stands and sways very well.
- Aaatraaayuuu! Come on, don't tell me you've never seen the Never Ending Story.
- Are you nineteen? Wanna make out? In reference to the boyfriends of yester-month.
- College: The best seven years of my life. This is usually a joke...Not for me! I just completed year seven.
And one last piece of wisdom from Monica, for all you graduates:
"Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You're gonna love it."
My third graduation ceremony in two days...This one was awesome: The dean spoke, they gave an award to a high achieving alumnist, then went straight to the presentation of the graduates. Still, there were so many of them that it took quite a while, about as long as mine did. Robin looked so sharp in his green shirt and tie, and was super easy to find in the crowd since he is so tall! I didn't get to go to his reception because I needed to go to Liz's, which I'd already missed two hours of by the time I got there...This was my compromise :-) Oh, and I totally have a picture of Robin giving the thumbs-up in a sea of grads, but it's a little blurry, darn it. Such a classic maneuver.
And this marks the end of this year's graduations. Yay, us!
I wish I knew how to post videos, because I took one of Liz walking up to receive her diploma that really captures the enthusiasm of all of the people in the bottom right photograph. We yelled so loud and were so excited that my camera was shaking, so the video is a little Blair-witchy. Her ceremony was small and very cute, with great speakers and some really great music. I think Liz's favorite part was the Graduate student speaker's rip on frat houses within the context of thinking beyond ones narrow vision of the world.
These are pictures from my graduation on Friday. It rained pretty hard during the ceremony. Look close and you can see that my hat is about to wilt away in the bottom right picture. After finishing up last week, I am now the holder of a Master of Education in Teaching and Learning, as well as the recipient of an Oregon teaching license with and ESOL endorsement. The pictures on the right column are my favorite. I think I'm going to frame the one of me with my parents.
If you were to pick three things you wanted your students to learn this year, what would they be?
After some blanking and stalling with the, "Wow, that's a great question" technique, I said I would want students in my classroom to walk away with a sense of community and understanding of what community means, essential study skills for being successful in middle school and beyond, and a sense of themselves as learners and the types of conditions in which they learn best. This sounds better in print than it did when I said it.
What will be the indicators of your success?
Phew...That's loaded question. I said that my students' learning and progress will be the best indicator of my teaching, because if they're not learning, I can't really be called a teacher. There is more I could have said, but I didn't want to make them think that I'm concerned with administrator approval.
I think it went well overall, except that it was so hot in the room we were in that I was really sweaty at first. Then, when I walked out, I recognized the person that was coming in for the next interview slot. I didn't realize until later that she is the substitute teacher that took over for the classroom next to mine at Page when the real teacher took maternity leave. I'm starting to think that she would probably be more qualified than me, but then again, I don't really know her at all, nor have I seen her teach.
They will make a decision by the end of the week, the the human resources department will get back to me by, hopefully, next Friday. If offered the job, though, they said that I could come into my classroom anytime over the summer do get settled in, which is great.
Well, that's the story. I'm going to try not to think about it all weekend, because I'M GRADUATING FROM GRADUATE SCHOOL!!! No more school for the rest of my life (oh, um...Except the nine graduate credits I have to take over then next three years to continue my teaching license, but whatever, I'll do that later). Finally, my college life is over...I'll miss it, but I'm glad to get out at the same time.
Hi! If you're wondering why I haven't posted lately, you're welcome to finish up my Master's projects for me. I promise I'll get back to it once all this school (schmool) crap is over and done. I'll be done Tuesday night at 8:00 and I plan to be drunk promptly at 8:30.
This is us with Sammy's senior portrait. I can't remember ever seeing Sammy in a skirt that wasn't a sarong or 80's buttrock skirt. And check out the 90's hair and sweater! I love this picture, thanks Evan!
There are so many things to say about this weekend that I'm overwhelmed with ideas. It will suffice to say that asses were the theme of the weekend, and keeping one's ass covered lessens the chance of broken windows. Enough said.