Things that Make me Twitch, Vol. I

1. Christmas lights thrown upon a house without rhyme or reason, as if projectile vomited.
   
2. The interchanging of the words your and you're as if they mean the same.
   
3. Bryan Adams and/or Rod Stewart.
   
4. People referring to Valerie as 'him,' 'he,' or the worst one, said by the cashier while we were at Safeway with Val's brother: "Are these your sons?"
   
5. Drivers who dominate the left lane, only periodically venturing into the right lane when forced to, or forcing others to pass them on the right.
   
6. The Keifer Kia Princess.
   
7. The overheard conversations among OSU (oops, OS!) sorority girls in the bathroom at the Peacock.
   
8. Standing water on the bathroom counter and/or water droplets on the mirror.
   
9. The use of the word 'literally' for situations that are not, in fact, literal.
   
10. Double use of the word 'is.'  The thing is is...
    
11. Gross parents that yell at their children in the grocery store, usually for yelling.
    
12. Photos of women pregnant with multiple babies.